Life without God...

Life without God is really terrible..I wouldn't dare to imaging how would my life be. If one day one of ur mum drunk...came back hm arnd 11.30pm..ask U whether she die gd or not, wat will U do? She cried looking so helpless..but maybe only thru tis situation, then U get to kno her probs and troubs.

She get only $600 gross pay for wat she work.. But tis money hav to pay for hse gas; daily needs; her own living and giving money to sons.. So she actually collect newspaper; cans; steel and copper to sell and get money for herself. Tis mother hav been feeling helpless these few weeks when visiting her soundless yet skinny and old husband and when she hav to see the lawyer herself.. She actually hav 3 sons, but all hav their own probs.

The big one already 23, still didnt work..when he's at hm, he will watch tv & vcd; hear Amyway tapes; sleep when normal ppl aren't and the most prowerful things is to eat up foods in the hse..a gd mother and i buy things for him to eat but he sleeping, end up food become cannot be eaten. He will borrow money fr either me or my mum, saying will pay us back..not we don trust him in returning but he don even work, how he pay us back?? Something interesting is tat when he watching tv; vcd or listening to songs, he will put alot of foods and hot drinks..eg coffee or tea.. infront of him with newspaper below.. U can get wat U wan to eat or drinks when U wan rite?? Hot foods become sticky stuffs and hot drinks become donno wat.. He will oso went out for a few days then come back hm..i donno where he can go but imaging someone walking outside for a few days without bathing and brushing of teeths..after tat come back hm sleep for donno how many days again. No one (really no one) can tell him thru and he might fight wif U.

The middle one is 20 and he is in Army oso..actually worrying abt wat he can do after he sept ORD. His pay may be higher than me, but not so enough for himself. He can go cinema watch movies himself.. When he nth to do, he will do all sort of things to irritate U..eg searching thru ur things.
Mother was disappointed becos he still smoking.

I?? stuck within myself bah.. I'm like missing the past LongXiang and trying to find him back la.. There's really many more important things to do la..and i just stuck here? I cannot find LongXiang anymore, i must find God.. trying always.