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Thursday, January 29, 2009

bros

初二 my 大故 gave me pressure.

Wat i until nw then regret not studying hard?

i admit tat all my cousins de educations R much higher than me and my bros,

though i'm consider highest educated in my family??

I can only said tat, somehow ppl R born differently la.

If U kno my bros, how they behave and wat they do, U will kno liao.

Me, got depressions.

Seriously sometimes i just cant concentrate, cant think well like others la..

i really feel helpless, lonely and sian sometimes,

but i hav to accept it la.

I really wondering why,

why my 2nd bro until nw still saying he regreted going my eldest uncle hse,

becos my 3rd and i go. And eps i go.

He hav been saying it all day long,

but 初一 really nth happened wat.

Maybe he don like his close family members to be there?? Hais...

The way he behave oso vomit blood.

Then 3rd saying he's finding jobs, actuaaly is bullshit!

Only buy eng newspaper, how to find??

Then stay at hm watch tv, vcd and keep playing com???

My mum keep complaining to me tat he hav changed.

Nv eat mum's cooked de food anymore,

late or nv sleep, ignore my mum when she talk to him,

keep smoking...his attitude and stuffs.

Then my mum will drunk and depress becos of them.

I really wonder if i can get to poly. :(

Seriously miss my dad, seriously lonely and sian.

But, thk God, cos he nv give up on me.

I must try not to give up on the family and myself 2!

I wonder wat am i, if i don hav God since 7 yrs ago.

Currently 2.17am, crying infront of com.

And kno wat?

3rd bro is listening musics inside his room,

i kno he's awaiting to use the com,

BUT at tis timing??

Anyway, i alr set timing to lock the com,

maybe tat's the best way bah...hais..

Posted at1:42 AM

Monday, January 26, 2009

CYN

Wat a depress CYN.

I donno wat to say and how to start.

Yest mum prepared a delicious meal for us, BUT

not many ppl eating.

AND my mum knife her finger accidentedly when she knifed duck.

It cut thru her finger nail and even to her finger.

Then end up 2 bros nv eat!

Tel my bros oso no use, they don even bother, only care abt their own things.

3rd bro and i came hm fr eldest uncle hse then wanna snatch com wif me alr,

Mum came hm drunk after we came hm a while.

Then kept complaining her finger very pain, no medicine oil.

Asked my 3rd bro go buy the medicine oil, he nv ans and

kept asking 2mor wat time go 2nd uncle hse.

I ignored him and tried to entertain my mum,

cos she kept talking and asking me ques la..

I quickly lock my com and went down 7eleven to see wat i can buy to reduce my mum pain.

But too bad, don hav anything much i can buy at 7eleven.

Went back hm, saw my 3rd bro using com la..

He kno my password, unlocked and use the com???

Real angry inside me, but i nv show out.

After tat, mum kept trying to call her relatives, kept asking why she cant call out.

That no is not in used le, explained to her but she don get it. =.=

Finally she called out to a relative,

and she started to tel her sorrow.

Said how she knifed her finger, cook le no one eat,

all the bills and foods she paid and all tat.

Hais..mum, 3rd bro and 2nd bro all need attentions de,

how am i going give them their attentions?

Thk God i nv turn crazy bah..

Given tis kind of hse environment, can i go for poly?

See how bah, just tat i MUST get at least a diploma.

Posted at10:35 PM

Saturday, January 24, 2009

camp..

In camp, my dept de working moral hav been very low.

Too many rubbish to handle still nvm,

own ppl create more troubles.

Everyone hav been trying to protect themselves,

end up they push all the things to ppl arnd them.

My sgt, 2 sirs, RQ and me so troubled by them.

They went to take excuses for guard duties,

MO don give, they wan take mc.

End up Sirs and RQ sure kena de lorx..Hais....

Like tat still nvm. They wan OFF.

Everyone hope to get OFF fr continuously after CYN public holidays,

but they don hav any OFF one.

Its my Sir and RQ too gd, and they take for granted.

Nv give them OFF, they not happy and create more troubles.

Sir and sgt going ORD still cannot take OFF lorx..

Then sgt take a few OFF only, they wan copy and say not fair.

All taking OFF on wed, then left the only indian and RQ to work.

I wan to go back, but sgt, Sirs and RQ asked me go rest.

Hais..pity my Sirs and RQ man.

They hav their own things to settle still hav to settle these guys.

Just nw came back fr church steamboat,

mum came hm drunk wif a auntie.

See her drunk face, immediatly sian diao.

After tat she keep talking rubbish and asking rubbish.

Until nw still haven sleep. Hais..

Sometimes some things U can feel, but donno how to say out de.

Gonna try to sleep soon, 1.32am le. =.=

She still talking. Ha...

Still worrying wat to do wif my studies.

Posted at11:17 PM

Sunday, January 18, 2009

God's leading to future

Though going ORD in end of April, camp still lots of things going on la..

Coming tis week is an all rounded audit..

Whenever audit, whole camp will push things to my dept de.

all de expired fire extinguishers and all others unwanted stuffs. =.=

Then last week been busy cleaning and packing up stores.

Hav to move all unwanted stuffs, expired fire extinguishers and

improper things to a secret stores, hahas..

my Sir and Sgt R going ORD tis Feb, but sad thing is tat no one to replace Sgt!

Then actually a guy replaced the previous Sgt be4 tis one, he nw CPL oso.

Current Sir, understudy Sir and RQ thought of letting him take over again.

But he said he forgotten everything le, then hav to re learn everything.

Somehow they thought of letting me re place...

They say i'm most hard working and they can trust on me for many things, eps these Sgt's work R important.

Stress and scare cant take it la, lols..

But if not for God, how would i excel in army?

SO i will try learning fr my sgt and see how 1st.

If CMI, will tel them lorx..

Going ORD still got heavy jobs, hahas..

Still worrying abt the process of going poly.

I think fr Nitec Busniess(retail) to Higher Nitec Intergrated Logistics Management

then go poly fr there is better, but must take 6 yrs.

Some ppl and leaders commented tat its a gd choice and worth 6 yrs.

But some ppl and a higher leader commented its waste of time,

can do many things in these 6 yrs,

and only after 6 yrs then can hav proper jobs.

Then i abit confuse......

The higher leader oso rite la.

By then alr 27yrs old, maybe a few more yrs hav to married le????

He asked me find out private diploma or other private courses tat i can take.

So tat its faster?

And he said he will help me analysis after tat. LOLs...

Donno how la..sad.

Leave such big and important decisions to prayers bah..

i'm sure God will lead me like wat Proverbs16:9 said,

"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his step."

Somehow i'm going downfall again.

I'm sry, sry to my dad and God.

I'm a sinner, Lord.

Pls forgive me, i don wan to give up but not by my own strength.

2day really got encouraged by 妙玲师母 and 牧师 de preached.

Somehow thought of my dad's death.

The process of how God lead him to believe in him.

The process of how God be wif me when i'm handling dad's stuffs.

The process of how dad believe in God be4 he passed away.

i can tel a testi abt my dad lorx..hahas..

But if write out and prepare la.

Really really thk God.

Posted at11:09 PM

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Mighty to save

Everyone needs compassion,
Love that's never failing;
Let mercy fall on me.

Everyone needs forgiveness,
The kindness of a Saviour;
The Hope of nations.

Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.

Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave.

So take me as You find me,
All my fears and failures,
Fill my life again.

I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in,
Now I surrender.

Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave. (x2)

Shine your light and let the whole world see,
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus (x2)

Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave. (x2)

Shine your light and let the whole world see,
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus. (x4)

Mighty To Save - Hillsongs Australia

Posted at3:09 AM

i became "part time nurse" lorx...

opp of my bed came a new uncle on 2nd Jan.

He came at nite, but the next day many things happened liao.

He little things only press the bell and ask for nurses.

Asked nurse to help him take water,

help him adjust and things like tat.

U must react to him fast de, else he will try to climb out of bed his own ways.

Then he pass motions a bit only, wan change diapers liao.

He say he like new one, more comfront.

Every 5 mins need to change 1 diapers la..

Then nv help him change only, he keep pressing bell.

Push him out, he keep banging the bed,

shouting for nurses, scold and take off his pant la!

In the ward U can see 139, 133 and 129 always press their bell one.

So i helped the nurses look after the one opp my bed.

In hospital quite boring, then chatting wif many ppl there, hahas..

Actually thought of post a card to my ward de, but lazy.

Anw, end of my hospital story le. Hahas..

Posted at2:49 AM

1st 2 days in the ward i oso forgotten wat happened liao,

cos i was too giddy and still wif my fever and headache

I do remb tat doc came once,

How i hav to do big and small business wif the drips,

and tat 2 relatives of the uncle beside me chatted wif me.

i then realised tat the whole ward, all R quite old except me.

The uncle opp mid to me, really let me remb of my dad.

He so funny la..

Said "Itchy....itchy...", keep scatching himself all over,

and ask whoever walk pass to help him scatch.

He sometimes even forgotten tat he's eaten la...

He cant eat solid foods and need ppl to feed, like my dad.

Any food, he oso say "hao chi...hao chi" Hahas..

Then many a times when ppl feeding him,

he fell asleep la!! So its like,

half eating and half asleep....LOLs..

He's real cute...and i miss my dad.

Its real amazing tat dad passed away after he confirm christ is his Lord.

His daughters and sons R all so gd to him la...

Tat's one of his daughters, "an mo" for him lorx..

Then his son always will visit him wif food de.

Observe them until i drop tears..hahas..

Anw, let's take a look at the hospital foods.

Serectly took de pic, hahas..

Its 1 veg, 1 tau hu, 1 very plain de penunts soup and 1 fruit for lunch.

Ok la, can eat can liao.

Many ppl brought me alot of things when visit me.

Got fruits, butter biscuit, seaweeds, koren strawberries, chi essence,

a "cow" bear

And these 2 items R loan! THey scare i bored, hahas..

Tis cute cute thing, inside is MP3 la..hahas..

Really thk's Vic and Char for the loan items,

they lend me then nv use for arnd a week la..hahas..

TO BE CONTINUE.......

Posted at1:18 AM

WHen reached hospital, i really felt like fainting lorx..

Then LQ and WJ hav to take turn to hold me and make sure i wont faint.

Only 1 person and tat's WJ tat accompany me all the way.

Wheel chaired, waited, Dripped and panadols.

Its a very beautiful nurse, though wif mask,

whom helped to put the drip.

Then WJ and i was great impressions of tat nurse..LOLs..

Slept and woke up, my fever was 36.5 arnd 5am plus.

BUT, still very giddy and headache.

So doc asked to admit and stay for observations.

Still at the observations area slept until arnd 7 plus,

then moved into a room wif alot of patients who R like me.

I'm cold and shivering like donno wat la...

Even requested for another blanket and i covered fr head to toe.

3 student nurses wanted to take my heart test, so funny la!!

i kept shivering then take cannot take the test. Hahahas...

1 of the nurses said wanna transfer me to Alexanda Hospital,

cos no ward and bed for me.

I was quite happy to heard tat cos thought it will be faster tat way.

Who knos, fever come again.

38, 38.7, 38.2 then 39, head and eyes R in pain.

Tears dropped, i asked the nurse over and told him i CMI.

He faster told the doc my situations,

and 10mins later only they pushing me to the ward liao..hahas...

But still, arnd 11am plus le.

TO BE CONTINUE.....

Posted at12:19 AM

Friday, January 09, 2009

I spent 1st new yr nite in the hospital.

At 1st in church i just thought tat i only hav a slight fever,

then after tat got my skins peel off by metal and

my body part don feel gd.

I went hm fr rehearsal after some advises.

I used my own thermometer to take temperature and its 38.

I went to hav some rest, woke up and take temperature again,

who knos tis time round thermometer no BATT!

So decided to sleep until mum's back hm.

When mum's back, asked her bring me see doc, she don wan.

She say she's busy and offered me 1 latest ultra panadol wor..

Rest then after tat still the same,

then she took a towel wif ice and put on my head.

My fever seems to get worsen la...so she bo bian.

Took temperature at downstair clinic, WA 39.9!

Doc asked me go hospital on own my immediatly.

Then mum asked whether my frens can bring me to hospital not,

cos she got to work the next day.

So i called some of the church frens,

finally got them and they R still in church.

Took a cab to church and took a cab wif Mel, LQ and WJ to hospital.

TO BE CONTINUE.......

Posted at10:51 AM

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A very compilcated background guy saved by Jesus Christ in 2001. Still trying to be mould by God. :)

Name: IsAac ChOoNg LoNg XiAnG

E-mail: lx_isaac@hotmail.sg

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