Wat's ahead??

Sometimes i really hav no courage to move..sometimes i just don wan to move... Sometimes i told myself tat i'm LongXiang, so let it be.. I choose not to face myself, reason is too compilcated in my mind. Usually i will blame myself for not doing to wat i can, feel quilty abt wat happened and say sorry to whom i hurt.. Actually there's no wrong doing all these, but probs is tat i just stuck here and do nth abt it. Every part of my body really go thru a lots becos of me.



I kno wat i should do; wat's wrong and rite..funny thing is tat i wish and hope for grow, but WHY never do it?! Worse is tat many ppl trying to help me!! And i still stuck here? Family probs; finances probs, medical probs...etc.. Things arnd U hav so many loopholes, really hard for U to believe tat U hav a gd future.. My actions nv go wif my thinking..



On the 13/07/07 Fri, i went nursing hm visit my dad.. U kno, my 3rd bro and 2nd bro R just weird..many of the times only when either me or my mun go visit my dad then they tap along. And tat day, i use PSP to buy my 3rd bro sat time to visit my dad again. When i visit my dad, i surely buy something for him to eat..eg: porridge and oso let him listen to some christian songs. The others i don wish to say. Usually when anyone visit him, he will talk alots..maybe some R rubbish, but..U kno wat? Fr July onwards, he no longer talk...i don mind he talk rubbish U kno?! I donno how to con't to say le, its just a emo part bah.. I actually feed my dad untill all over in a mess, maybe U can do better than me?? When feeding him, i really almost drop my tears..HaHa! U can imagine a person so close to U skinny until can see the rip cage and soundlessly lying on bed. Lol.. And after tat, i rush to tang fang.



I donno wat push me to live, or just becos i scare of die..HaHa! I really wan to breakthru and help myself. i kno no one can help me, most important things is my own relationship wif God..

Very sorry..I oso donno why i don share, maybe becos when U tel ur probs out U hav to face it bah..HaHa! Many things did happened in camp..but, forget it its all over. I cried and i hot up, not becos of one thing happened but many things happened.

My Sir after hearing a BIT of my probs, he gave me a words of advise to bring hm..Tat is no matter wat ur future will become, U can do smth CHANGE ur future. The magic words is CHANGE. Smth like tat la, HaHa!

I will try..always trying to breakthru. Can't make sure, but can promise. Thk's everyone, eps CL; Alvin; Li Qin; Mu Shi; Mu Shi Niang..etc. Don worry abt me, but pray for me, thk's! :) God's here is to give us a gd future, yeah?