God Loves You (:

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Sometimes i hav the urge......

i sometimes really hav the urge to either commit suicide or kill my bro and mum then kill myself.

Hav been having these kind of thoughts.

No motivations at hm but negative thoughts.

BUT, i really thk God tat i kno him 8 yrs ago.

If not, i really cant last until nw and still holding on, church is my hse.

Yest mum suspected 3rd bro glue sniff but he denied and gave attitude.

After mum left, he said tat guy fren come here stay cos fight wif his mum,

cant let him sleep on street and must help since is his fren.

He said he nv glue sniff, its my mum anyhow say and she even say they inject drugs.

He said he nv let those very bad frens come our hse, its they wan come in de.

He said he asked them must keep volume down but they don listen oso.

He said he keep trying to find jobs but very hard to find,

somemore every tues and thurs hav to go amk report to police.

He oso said he hav to dye back his hair cos police scolded him le,

he keep asking money fr me to dye hair or cut botak.

I soft hearted and gave him $5 to expect him cut botak, then went hse visit le.

Next thing mum called me saying caught him glue sniffing again,

and said wan call police asked if i wan go back.

i told her i at hse visit wont be going back so early, asked her call police her own bah.

Main reason is tat i donno who to believe...hais,,,,

Next min police called me saying he caught my bro wif the glue and be bringing him back.

He say he will contact me abt my 3rd bro again and asked me go back cos mum very upset.

i nv really take it to heart, cos mum always like tat de.

After tat mum called asking when i'm going back then she go sleep.

i wanted feel emo and tears out during the visit de, but control myself.

Back hm mum haven sleep, she emo and wanna cry again....hais..

Then just nw abt 10 plus, he came back wif 3 girls.

Yest he nv bring his keys wif him, so keep knocking on the door and knocked hardly.

i see its him wif 3 girls then nv open the door.

Mum came out of room then told her go see she don wan.

He left and came back alone to knock the door again.

Then mum opened door for him saying he's alone only.. =.=

He rushed in take my food and eat then took his keys and left.

Really donno wat tis mum doing man..

Can understand its her son, maybe she don bear to kick him out of hse.....BUT...

Really donno wat to say, next time tis happen i let her handle le.

Nw he use his msn scold me valgur and say he's my Lord,

maybe its his frens using his acc who knos?

Its nv gd feeling being cheated, stuck and helpless,

everyone needs God.

Posted at10:40 PM

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God's Child

A very compilcated background guy saved by Jesus Christ in 2001. Still trying to be mould by God. :)

Name: IsAac ChOoNg LoNg XiAnG

E-mail: lx_isaac@hotmail.sg

Past-Time Hobby: All kind of sports, Chinese chess, Gaming, Music(eps Christian songs), beach and spending time in a quiet environment is my favourite.

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